Five Questions for Resolving Anger
Whatcha feelin’? Boiling inside? Going from 0–100 in a fit of rage?
Anger can feel very out of control for many people. Most of the clients I work with, and people in my personal life, are intimidated by the feeling of anger.
They either don’t know how or have witnessed extreme ways of managing it. This leaves them without the necessary skills to move through frustrating times.
Anger is POWER. Anger gives us opportunity; to release, heal, and use our voices to be our own best advocates. It gives us information about ourselves, highlighting those areas that are unresolved or situations/people that don’t align with our energy.
I encourage clients to feel angry, if they come to me with depression, shame, anxiety, or guilt. These emotions carry a lower vibration and anger is higher on the vibe list.
Depressed? Get pissed off. At least you have some energy and motivation behind you. This energy and motivation will mobilize you from feeling paralyzed and helpless. It gets you out of victim mode, in case you’ve fallen prey.
Victim mode is okay. It’s normal to embody this, temporarily. When you enter victim mode, you’re acknowledging and validating your feelings. Show yourself some compassion in these moments and nurture your inner child.
Then, release the anger. Don’t sit in it. Release the roles in whatever situation you’re in that places people in roles, namely the roles of perpetrator and victim. These roles empower and disempower, respectively.
There are 5 questions I encourage you to explore, once you’ve given yourself a moment (max 20 minutes) to FEEL PISSED:
1. What is this person/situation triggering in me that I have not resolved (either within myself, my life or my relationships)? Is this an area in which I’m envious of others or feeling weak? We project our own insecurities onto others and displace this anger at ourselves onto other people and situations.
2. If I’m judging another person or situation, what am I similarly judgmental of within myself? Place your attention on resolving self-judgment.This gives you control, which is exactly what we don’t feel when we are angry. You can’t control the other person but using your anger to grow and shift will resolve the reason you were angry in the first place.
3. Is there someone I need to forgive, even if it’s myself? Engaging in the process of forgiveness is a valuable tool that benefits us ALL on the road to health and happiness. Practicing the Ho’oponopono prayer, repeatedly, over the person or situation is highly effective.
4. Where am I not attending to my own needs? Becoming angry means you had expectations of that person or situation. How do those expectations serve you? Typically, it’s to fill a void or need within us. Engage in more intentional and compassionate self-care. Listen to the anger as a signal for how to attend to yourself more tenderly.
5. Am I feeling disrespected or that a boundary has been crossed? Great! This is an opportunity to use your voice. Set the appropriate limit to show yourself some self-respect. If you’re advocating for and taking care of yourself, you won’t need the anger at the other person or situation.
At the end of the day, it all comes to down to fulfilling your own needs. If you’re fulfilled, being “wronged” or “unfairly treated” doesn’t matter because you’re on your own side. You’re solid so these situations don’t rock your world.
When you’ve achieved this state of fulfillment, managing anger becomes very simple. Feel it rise, acknowledge and honor the opportunity, briefly release, remember your power and loving intention, set the boundary, and look forward to the next exciting step on your life path.
With this process, the anger becomes insignificant. Insignificant to your life’s purpose. It’s a pebble on the path of life, a necessary obstacle for you to navigate around, but not a barrier.
Laura Mazzotta, The Akashic Therapist
Laura Mazzotta, LCSW-R, is an expert therapist, Certified Akashic Records Practitioner and Reiki Healer with over 15 years of experience. She serves women ready to explore holistic, alternative methods of healing and transformation, to address their chronic or complex pain, illness and disease. With extensive knowledge and skills in modalities such as EFT (tapping), Regression Therapy, Trauma Work, and intuitive development, Laura knows how to guide your healing journey in a unique, powerful and effective way.
During her recovery from a serious illness in 2016, Laura exhausted western medicine approaches and realized her deep passion for holistic methods, becoming an even greater advocate for personal development and healing. Laura knows true healing occurs much more powerfully when all components (physical, mental, energetic and spiritual) of a person’s issue are addressed. She’s here to guide her clients in all steps on that journey.
You can find Laura at www.theakashictherapist.com and on her Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/emergehealingandwellness/
