How Does Hate for my Illness Call for Unconditional Love?

Image by Khusen Rustamov from Pixabay

I hate being sick. I’m so tired of:

· having to cancel plans

· not making plans because my health is too unpredictable

· saying no when my kids ask to play

· staying inside when it’s a gorgeous fall day because I have to lay down and need just the right temperature

· having to take my supplements, medications, and eat meals and snacks at exactly the same time each day so I remain marginally stable

· Having to regulate how long I can stand up so I don’t collapse

· Asking my husband for help, once again, when he is taking care of the kids, working, and doing all the cooking, cleaning and shopping

· Canceling on my clients, again, without knowing when I can reschedule

· Having to wait on visiting family or taking vacations because I don’t know if I’ll be healthy enough to go

· Spending tons of time and money on supplements, appointments and meds, all while I’m working less.


I’m tired and angry. Sitting in this vibration doesn’t serve me; it only adds to my dis-ease.

I’m also relieved. Of a lot of responsibility, obligation, our fast-paced lives, and expectations.

There’s something freeing in that. My body is offering me the choice to invest my energy into what is truly in my best interest, versus weighing all the other factors.

It’s simplifying life and decisions for me. No explanation or justification is needed, to myself or others, because I’m sick. Everyone understands when you’re sick.

But then you look at the underpinnings of this. What purpose is this serving me right now? Because there is a purpose.


Inspired by the four questions of Byron Katie (The Work), I chose to explore this idea by turning the statement around that’s come to define me. My statement: I hate my illness.

The turn around? I unconditionally love my illness. Hence the blog title. This sentence scares the crap out of me because I have resisted consciously identifying with being ill.

My classic statement when I first got sick was, “I will not let this define me.” Guess what? When you actively resist something like that statement, it persists. So…

Since the illness has come to define me so much, the question becomes, for what or where do I need to learn and apply unconditional love toward myself? Does it involve my loved ones? Those I need to forgive?

Ultimately, in any of the above scenarios, it comes down to me. Everything and everyone else I come into contact with is reflecting back qualities within myself. The world is a mirror.

So what does unconditional love of self mean? Where does it come from? How do I even start this process?

Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash


Unconditional love of self is acceptance and awe of your current state of being (physically, energetically, emotionally, cognitively and spiritually), without judgment or agenda.

It is a glowing warmth that is always extending from your Higher Self to your physical form. Casting healing, compassion and forgiveness upon you at all times.

There is an endless supply of this love flowing through each one of us. We need to take the time in stillness to witness it.

To call it in. Embrace and inhale the glow. Imagine its immersion into all of our cells. And elevate ourselves to meet this golden vibration. The air is lighter up there, and carries a stream of unconditional love and simplicity that cannot be matched here on Earth.

In this space, we are untouchable. Our physical bodies don’t matter. They’re vehicles that we choose and can choose to embody.

When we choose to return to and remember who we are at a spiritual level, the significance of external reality washes away. We are timeless. Our mission and purpose has existed for longer than we may ever know (at least in human form).

This timelessness erases the pressure felt in this life for achievement and measured progress. Who gives a shit about all the expectations? These details aren’t even on the radar of those in the spiritual realm.

Rise up, my friends. Beyond the scope of where we are. Spiritually, we are nourished. We are healthy. We are thriving. That’s the truth of who we are, where we came from and will return to. All of this 3D world is just temporary. Spend a little more time with your head in the spiritual clouds and this reality will become palpable.

Once you taste it, mmmm, you will be continuously called to go back. Allow yourself to feast from this limitless table and you will always feel fulfilled. 🧘🏼‍♂️

Laura Mazzotta, The Akashic Therapist

Laura Mazzotta, LCSW-R, is an expert therapist, Certified Akashic Records Practitioner and Reiki Healer with over 15 years of experience. She serves women ready to explore holistic, alternative methods of healing and transformation, to address their chronic or complex pain, illness and disease. Laura knows true healing occurs much more powerfully when all components (physical, mental, energetic and spiritual) of a person’s issue are addressed. She’s here to guide her clients in all steps on that journey. You can find Laura at and join her free group for healing tools at Room for Healing.



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Laura Mazzotta, LCSW-R

Guiding mission-driven souls from potent, core-level healing to passionate 6-figure businesses.