How to Find Your Happy Place: A Journey from COVID-19 to Content
My doctors are 99% positive I had COVID-19. They didn’t have me tested because 1) I literally had every single symptom on the list (and still have some lingering) and 2) they didn’t want me exposed to anything else since I’m immunocompromised.
To me, the testing didn’t matter much. I was quarantined at home with my family, who was already exposed because two of them got it before me. I just wanted to make sure my lungs were okay. That’s one of the primary areas of complication for people with my immunodeficiency (CVID).
My Experience
When I went in for a chest X-ray and to have my oxygen checked, everyone was sappy sweet until they realized I was a likely COVID-19 candidate. Their entire presence changed. They were frantically making phone calls, their faces dropped, they stopped chatting with me and several staff started buzzing around.
They asked, “Does your doctor know this?”
I replied, “Yes, she is the one who told me to come in.” Mind you, I was wearing a mask and gloves.
A nurse came out from the back and asked me, “Have your symptoms changed since you spoke with the doctor?”
“No, they have not,” I said.
“Well, the doctor is going to freak out about this,” the nurse stated. “I don’t know what he is going to do.”
Nurse number two then entered the scene, “We’re going to need you to wait in the car. I will send a nurse out to check your oxygen.”
“No problem,” I replied, as I stood to walk to my car.
Twenty-five minutes later, a nurse came out in a full hazmat suit. No joke. She had me roll down my window and took my oxygen.
I felt like I was in the movie, 12 Monkeys, with Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt. Not bad to star with those two powerhouses but it was very surreal.
I felt like my identity was lost on them once they had a potential label for me. Such an intriguing shift. I don’t blame them. Far from it. This shit is scary. I know how severe it is because I had it intensely for awhile. There were two days I was sure I’d end up in the hospital.
Honestly, if I’d never experienced sepsis, I would have gone to the hospital. Given the number of times I’ve traveled via ambulance, I’ve learned how to mostly care for myself at home. Thank goodness.
I just didn’t want to be separated from my family for 2.5 weeks. That would have been heartbreaking. I’m sending so much love, compassion and comfort to individuals and families without the same luxury.
I had days where the chest pain was excruciating, I had a lot of shortness of breath, and I was too weak to stand. These are all typical for me (having neuropathy and CVID) but this was much more intense.
My Relief
Once I stopped fighting the idea that I was sick, and not just ‘rest a bit and get up’ sick, I was fine. It’s all mindset and vibration, my friends.
I listened to my body. When it asked for tea, I drank tea. All day. When it needed a bath, I took one. When I needed to sleep, I slept. The demands were prevalent but, once I decided I was just off sick, self-care was my full-time job.
There’s a certain amount of liberation in that. It’s amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you make self-care your primary focus. You just get more connected to those little nuances that, if you attend to them, can make grand shifts in your feelings of self-love.
On the cranky days, I would listen to kirtan (call & response chanting) in my earbuds because it always makes me smile and feel happy. I went to my happy place, regardless of what others around me were doing.
My Happy Place
What prevents us from going to our happy place on a regular basis? Choosing this even when we aren’t feeling sick and wonky? Most of what interferes with going to my happy place is guilt. I feel badly when I’m not helping at home, playing with my kids when they ask, or attending to my clients who are in need.
The healing journey has helped me a lot in this area, and I’m continuing to grow in my level of deserving around taking care of myself just because. We don’t deserve to rest and love ourselves just because we work super hard. We deserve it because we exist. Because we chose to enter into a soul contract that placed us here, on this Earth, in these bodies, having the needed experiences and relationships to advance our souls to the next level.
Do me a favor:
- Think of a time when you were little, or when someone you love was little, when you/they were full of joy and carefree.
- Take a deep breath, all the way down into the base of your abdomen.
- Watch this scene as it unfolds and really feel into what the actors in this scene are feeling.
- How would you like to cultivate that feeling now? How can you cultivate this feeling now?
Maybe it’s similar to what you used to enjoy and maybe it’s something that makes you think of that time (like a song or a breath of fresh air). It could also be something else entirely.
Be open to exploring. It’s times like this when we need to be creative about connecting to feelings of joy and freedom, even if it looks different than we expected. You may even find something completely new that lights you up, areas of you that you don’t yet know!
Choose Your Happy Place
I recommend practicing this exercise at the beginning of each week. That way you can set intentions for what actions you’d like to take to get closer and closer to living this feeling on a regular basis.
It takes choice to start this, my friends. It may not be natural to immediately cultivate this feeling and/or take action right away. Be gentle and patient with yourself. It certainly wasn’t easy for me to shift into this space when I felt so terrible with COVID-19. Sometimes it’s just moment by moment.
I urge you to at least start this process. Even if you just do the visualization above, it’s a commitment to yourself that will pay off in dividends. You’re heightening self-awareness and taking a few moments of time for yourself.
Practicing this skill will expand and strengthen your intuition, even if you take it slowly and don’t spring to action right away. However, the sooner you act on it, the sooner you can live in this space of emotional freedom. One tiny step is enough to start…
Make a commitment to start living your best life now. Not tomorrow, not ‘when x, y and/or z is done,’ not ‘when the kids go to college,’ not when you get that new job, and not when you ‘get healthy.’ You can access all of it from sitting still with yourself.
Don’t believe it? I challenge you to try, consistently. You are such a powerful being! We all are, and we were each brought to this Earth to fulfill a very important purpose. Claim it! The Universe wants us to sing, dance and experience joy. It’s the beauty of having this human experience.
I’m happy to travel with you and guide you on this path. You can join me and over 600 others who are part of my free Facebook group, Room for Healing. You’re also welcome to connect with me individually, to determine the best route for you.
Sending you all so much love and light,
Laura
Laura Mazzotta, LCSW-R, is an expert therapist, Certified Akashic Records Practitioner and Reiki Healer with over 16 years of experience. Her mission is to teach The Akashic Records to as many people as possible, so they can move toward ease, energy and confidence. She is particularly passionate about guiding therapists, coaches & healers in the space of the Records, to gain clarity and decisiveness in their business.
Laura knows true healing occurs much more powerfully when all components (physical, mental, energetic and spiritual) of a person’s issue are addressed. She’s here to guide her clients in all steps on that journey. You can find Laura at www.theakashictherapist.com and on Facebook at Emerge Healing & Wellness.
