The Trap of the Ego is an Illusion
One of my clients was sharing about feeling stuck between finding wisdom in the stillness within and pressure to “make a decision” in certain areas of her life.
Here was my reply (broken up to explain these points): “The pressure you’re feeling is likely the shedding of egoic parts that are tantruming for safety and security.”
When the ego lets go of its grip, it can feel like we are tortured inside, going the wrong direction, or being unfair to other people. It’s so used to what it has always known. The fact is that you truly KNOW, deep down, what the answer is. Your ego is just trying to talk you out of it, or hold onto some conditioned reality, because it doesn’t like the unknown.
‘Letting go’ of our ego can be one of the hardest things to do. We often get caught up in our own self-importance, wanting to be right, wanting to be seen as the best, and wanting to be in control. But in reality, our ego can hold us back from truly connecting with others, experiencing empathy and understanding, and reaching our full potential.
When we hold on too tightly, we show up as a distorted version of ourselves. People don’t see the truly vulnerable and intimate parts of us, and they deserve that if we have chosen to them to be in our world. Allow them to really SEE you so they have the sovereignty of deciding whether they are aligned to be in relationship with us.
So how do we ‘let go’ of our ego?
I say we don’t. I say we integrate it as a part of who we are. It’s a part of us. Casting aside any parts of us is a rejection of a part of ourselves. Instead, “Offer gentleness and grace to this part of you that feels it needs an answer to move forward or get ‘unstuck.’ The trap the ego finds itself in is truly an illusion.”
It’s a scared child and we need to compassionately attend to it as such. Become more open and receptive to its rantings: You can solidly hold whatever it has to say. It may be uncomfortable but that doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t make your core knowing wrong. You are the compassionate parent guiding it to the new reality you’re choosing to live: “I know this is how we have always done things but it’s not aligned with where we’re going. I’m here to hold you as you adjust to this new knowing.”
Be the wise elder. You KNOW the way, I promise.
If you’re ready to feel confident in this and feel held as you get your bearings, join me in a mini-program, DISSOLVE, starting 4/28/23.
Honing your awareness of when the ego is taking over is key. Once you are aware, you can deepen your practice of humility, vulnerability, surrender, and alignment with Divine perspective. You learn to listen more and speak less, to ask questions rather than react with answers, and curiously seek to understand others’ perspectives.
All of this allows you to become more flexible, adaptable, resilient, and able to handle whatever life throws your way. So if you’re feeling stuck or frustrated, take a step back and connect with your ego: Is it holding on too tightly to its own ideas and beliefs? Is it resistant to feedback? Is it afraid of being vulnerable? By letting go of these ego-driven behaviors, you can free yourself to truly thrive and grow.
These are starting questions for our deep dive in DISSOLVE. I can’t wait for you to develop that serious spidey-sense of knowing exactly when this kind of energy is arising and dissolving it into your experience with ease and grace.
$44. Two zoom calls. 4/28 & 4/30! See you there!
